Breaking My Silence: Intro

Breaking My Silence:

The Truth About My Endometriosis and Infertility Exposed.

Introduction

After a lot of contemplation, many different blog-readings, and personal research, I’ve been filled with inspiration and I’m about to take a huge leap of courage. This will be a series of posts in which I examine several aspects of the journey Nate and I have been on for the last 7 years. (I’m warning you now that if the talk of blood makes you squirm, do not read on. I am not going to hold back.)

I’ve been thinking for a little while now that it might be time to begin talking about this. I finally feel like I have reached a place in my relationship with endometriosis that I can speak freely about it. Don’t think this means I am past feeling about the whole ordeal. It just means that I have come to accept the cards I’ve been dealt and have resolved to see this as an opportunity rather than something to be ashamed of or a reason to be self-pitying. I also think that getting these thoughts and feelings out into the open for the first time could be a step in the right direction toward healing emotionally myself, and at the same time answer some burning questions that I know are out there.

You have been wondering. Here is the truth about why a 29-year-old married Mormon woman is not a mother.

The facts:

I have a disease called endometriosis.


Endometriosis can cause infertility. It is still possible to get pregnant with the disease, but the chances are typically very slim and can vary from case to case, just as the severity of the disease varies.


Endometriosis plagues millions of women. Many go undiagnosed. It is much more common than you think.


NOBODY talks about it. And that needs to change.

What it is:

I found this link helpful in describing it. 

http://www.endometriosisassn.org/endo.html

Endometriosis is characterized by the endometrial lining of the uterus beginning to grow outside of the uterus in places where it doesn’t belong. It acts in the same way that normal endometrium acts during the menstrual cycle, but as the tissue inside the uterus has a clear way out of the body, the tissue growing outside the uterus has no place to go. This results in internal bleeding and causes severe pain and infertility.

It is extremely difficult to diagnose, which is the reason so many women are not officially diagnosed. It has all the same symptoms as almost every other feminine reproductive problem. The only way to know for sure that a person has endometriosis is to perform laproscopic surgery. And that is the decision of the patient to undergo the surgery. My doctor told me we could treat for it and hope that worked, or do the surgery and know for sure. I chose to know for sure. That means that the surgeon will make an incision in the navel (the patient is under anesthesia), insert a camera to look for growths of tissue, and if found, then insert a laser and burn the tissue off.

It is not known why or how it happens. It is not known if it is hereditary or what causes it. Only one thing is currently certain: There is no cure. However, there a variety of treatment options that work well in controlling the growth of the tissue. The most popular and recommended is contraceptive drugs (birth control), and (go ahead and laugh, this is ironic…) pregnancy.

Why Contraceptives:

Birth control works to prevent pregnancy by essentially tricking the body into thinking it is already pregnant. The pregnancy hormone is the effective ingredient. During pregnancy, the endometrial lining of the uterus is not shed every month. By tricking the body in this way, the growth of the endometrial lining is inhibited. I chose a more aggressive contraceptive drug called Depo Provera which is administered via a shot to the hip every three months. The drug prevented any growth or shedding of tissue as well as any ovulation and thereby temporarily relieved my symptoms.

My symptoms (This is where is gets graphic, so stop reading if you don’t think you can handle it):

Irregular periods. To skip months, and at other times bleed for 6 weeks straight was the norm for me. I could never count on anything. There was always a looming surprise. Even while using the pill. I had been irregular since day one at 15 years old.


Severe cramps, vaginal pain, and painful urination during periods.


Sudden, severe stabbing pains during and between periods that were debilitating and localized. Think – on the floor in the fetal position because the pain is so excrutiating you physically cannot even straighten out your legs or lie flat on your back, much less stand or sit upright. These would disappear as suddenly as they came. And I say localized because, for me, these instances always occurred in the exact same spot in my abdomen. And surprise, surprise, guess where they found the spots during the surgery?


Intense pain and bleeding immediately following sexual intimacy. Every time was like the first time. Without fail.


Chronically reoccurring yeast and urinary tract infections. I am a freak (A FREAK!) about keeping clean and I still couldn’t catch a break so I was put on a UTI medication to be taken every single day whether I had symptoms of a UTI or not. If I were to miss just one day of taking that pill... instant infection.

And those are the facts. I feel a bit strange ending on that nasty note, but that’s all I have as an intro. There will be many more posts in which I dive into the physical and emotional trauma we went through as well as how it has affected other areas of my life. I’m also hoping to be able to get Nate’s point of view as a guest post sometime in this series. Maybe I’ll do it as an interview. We’ll see.

I welcome your comments and questions below. If you have noticed any similar symptoms and they are bad enough to disrupt your life, please, please do not ignore them. Go see your doctor and start talking about it.

Until next time.